So I have been reviewing my FB posts lately and I'm doing the thing I always dreaded doing. Posting pictures and tales of a super mom. Building forts, water play, home made edible sandbox, etc. Bleh. I mean yes, I DID do these things. And the boys DID have fun (and secretly so did I). However not of all of these "supermom" activities turned out so great in the long run. Of course I didn't post on FB the failure of these activities. So here I present to you the supermom on FB...reality.
Mama win -
So we buy a lot of stuff on Amazon. A LOT. Thank you Amazon Prime. This = a lot of cardboard boxes. Normally we just break down and recycle, but the boys are getting to an age where cardboard boxes are the best thing in the world. So I go online and find ways to turn cardboard boxes into amazing things.
Mama fail -
Super awesome town map. This looks like so much fun. You make this little contained town and draw roads and schools and lakes and stuff all over it. The boys are totally in to cars right now, so I think this is perfect. I'm picturing the boys pushing the cars and trucks along the roads and I even put a lot of their toy animals in the "zoo area". So much fun.
The boys wake up from their morning nap and kind of stare at this new brown blob of a thing in their play room. They run over to it. Throw most of the "staged" cars and animals out of the box. Keep one car in and drive it over each other instead of along the roads. In addition, milk is spilled all over the "map", Bear the dog jumps in on the fun and crushes most of the "town limit" edges, and these same edges quickly become much hated tripping hazards. Next few days the "town" sits in the room against the wall and becomes the place where we throw everything at night when we "clean up." Sigh.
Mama fail -
Same said box. Since above plan was such a failure I decided to try and do something more fun with this giant cardboard monstrosity in our house. I find this idea for a fort. Of course in the picture it's one lonely toddler playing with all of his toys in the fort. Having a grand old time while mom snaps pics. Ah hah! If one lonely toddler can have fun in this smaller fort...two toddlers should have just as much fun (if not more) in this bigger fort. So I rearrange construction of box. Lots of packing tape is involved. I quickly realize that I am no architect or civil engineer. And I need support beams and buttresses to make this thing stand. I decide instead to just use more tape and start taping the fort to pieces of furniture. Hoping the meager support system will withstand two toddler boys.
Nap time is over, mom is giddy with excitement over all of the additions to the fort (like glow sticks hanging from ceiling, survivor bandanna as a entrance flap on one end, cut up old t-shirt fragments covering the entrance on the other end) so I race the boys down the stairs to squeal with glee. They mostly just stare and will not enter the fort. James clings to me, John is giving the whole thing the shifty eye. Eventually they decide to hit the outside to make sure it's not alive or something (I don't know, I don't understand toddler logic). They discover a weak point. Decide it would be more fun to climb on the fort than go in it. And the whole damn thing collapses within minutes of it's unveiling. Eventually I get it back to some semblance of a rectangular shape and shove the boys inside. John pulls down the glow sticks and starts chewing on them and James screams and tries to crawl back out, but keeps hitting the hanging t-shirt fragments and is "stuck" and is in total melt down. From then on, the "fort" has become a collapsed box that they crawl on, wrestle on, and drive cars over. Days later it is not even that. Trash. Sigh.
***Lesson learned...cardboard boxes are much more fun "as is." Do not attempt to alter the perfection of the cardboard box.***
Mama win - I am desperate to get John to eat. Not only is he a typical picky toddler, but he is on the run all of the time. No time to sit still to eat mama...you crazy. So I'm trying to come up with fun ways to get John to eat. I see this wonderful idea for an edible sandbox. Fill some largish container with oats (the sand) and hide food in the "sand" for them to find. Add measuring cups and spoons for the boys to sift and pour the "sand." I find this over-sized aluminum turkey pan and think that is great. Add oats, add raisins, craisins, goldfish of all variety, and yogurt melts. This will give them such fun I think. What a great idea.
Mama fail - Bring it all outside hand them milk and show them the sandbox. I put it up on a chair so that it is the perfect height for them. James immediately sees there is food in there and is going to town on the goldlfish. John quickly learns that Bear the dog likes everything in this "sandbox" and decides a more fun game is to scoop out everything with treats and all and just throw it on the ground in our backyard. Bear is having a field day. John is squealing with delight and is covered in oats, but hasn't eaten a bite. James could care less about the fun factor of this and is just mowing down on all of the goldfish he can find. Soon I realize that this could get seriously messy if one of them figures out they can lift the pan. Ever the resourceful one , I find more packing tape and tape the pan to the chair. This royally annoys both boys and they refuse to play with the "sandbox" further. Sigh, so I remove the tape, go inside to throw it away and upon my return, John is standing with an empty pan, Bear is covered in oats and raisins, and James is sitting on the ground eating goldfish off of the cement. Sigh.
Mama win - This is a different kind of mama tale. I am not only mama to twin boys, but to a 60lb mutt and a 8lb cat. Both have been pushed to the side since the boys have arrived and pet guilt rears its head from time to time. So recently a friend posted on FB this wonderful recipe for home made dog treats. Amazingly I have all of the ingredients to make these treats and a free evening to do so. Huzzah!
Mama fail - Treats have few ingredients and are easy to make, but batter turns out to be concrete if not cleaned within seconds of preparing and baking. Two days later I am still scraping batter off of my counter and am considering throwing away the baking pans used to bake these things. Funny thing is, as concrete-ish as the batter is, the actual treats are quite moist (shudder, I hate that word) even after baking. Recipe says they will keep for up to 2 weeks. Perfect. My dog only responds to food for training, so these should go quickly. About a week after making these things I am trying to get Bear to eat one because he keeps chasing the boys around (they are running with food in their hands because, ya know, god forbid they eat the food when it is much more fun to tease the dog with it). So Bear takes the treat and spits it out (he has gobbled them up in the past). Well I don't want the boys eating this treat so I am kind of forcing Bear to eat it, while pushing away what seems to be a mass of toddlers. Eventually he does eat it. Life goes on. Two days later I go to grab a treat for Bear and quickly realize they are no longer good. They are covered with mold. Every single piece. They are so covered with mold, that I'm sure the mold has been there for days. And poor Bear has been forced to eat moldy home made treat things for the past few days. Damn. Apparently "store for up to two weeks" meant, in the fridge. Sigh.
Teaser alert...I have one more insanely funny story to tell you. But it has nothing to do with FB supermomming and it will be a long post. The day has been a long one and my wine glass is getting empty. This will have to do for now. Hope you enjoyed the read. More to come...
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| John chewing on glow stick behind t-shirt strips |
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| Bandanna flap entrance, you can see shoddy construction |
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| Who wouldn't want to play in this awesome fort?! |
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| Edible sandbox, notice Bear under the chair cleaning up. |
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| Boys could care less about the "town". James just wants me out! |
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| Super awesome town map. Notice roads, round about, and zoo. |
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