So both my and Jay's parents have come to visit in the last few weeks and I noticed something different this time. I was worried about them. While they were visiting, I was fretting. While they were vacationing, I was on hyper alert. I worried about them getting around southern California, I worried about leaving them in a town none of us knew very well, I worried about their health and safety, I worried about their retirement funds, I worried about them taking our unpredictable puppy out for a walk. I just worried. A lot.
I would catch myself at times and think, well, they are all over 60 years old. They have made it this far in life without me worrying over them...pretty sure they can do THIS on their own. But, truly, that didn't help for long. The worry would set back in. After all our visitors left and were on their way back home I started thinking. When did this happen? When did I start worrying about my parents, instead of them solely worrying about us? When did this shift happen? I can't pinpoint a time or event. It was a slow shift evolving over the past few years I think. A series of events leading to a peak and plateau of fretting.
I assume this may be how parents worry about their children. As we do not have children yet, I can only equate parental worries to how we have fretted over our pets. But I truly believe I now get the fear that goes through parental minds every time their child tries something different, crosses the street, or just leaves the house. The world out there is a scary place. Who knew? Well I guess I kind of knew, but mostly in an irrational way (see last post).
I guess I have to try and get over these fears. As this is one more thing I worry about, yet cannot control. So although I wake up at night worrying if my parents boat will sink on their upcoming cruise, or that Jay's mom will get robbed because strangers are in her house replacing the floors, I just have tell my brain to shut up. Focus on the positive - suntans and beautiful hardwood - and just enjoy the fact that our parents are happy living their lives. As I'm sure they are happy when we enjoy living ours.
