So this special edition of mama fail mama win is brought to you by double mint gum. Ok, not really but you would think the boys would give me a break and only make me look like a bad mom every once in a while, but whoa man the boys were on their twin game this weekend. I'm still trying to think of two mama wins, so bear with me. Maybe something will come to mind as I am writing.
Mama fail #1 - Grandma and Grandpa M bought the boys an early birthday present - a toddler trampoline. It's pretty awesome and hopefully will release some of the endless amounts of energy that John has stored up. I say they bought it for the boys...but really we all had John the jumper in mind for this gift. Anyway, believe it or not this fail has nothing to do with John hurting himself (spoiler alert - the next one will). I get this contraption in the mail and start to pull out all of the pieces. I remember the online video telling me how easy it was to put together, so I'm like "Psssshh I don't need directions." Let's go!! Pieces pulled out, plastic suffocation plastic wrapping placed back in box, and obligatory allen wrench and screws accounted for. I'm all into this thing. The boys are having a blast playing with the box, listening to mom swear as she pinches her fingers on this "easy to assemble" toy, and "helping" me by taking pieces and crawling away with them. At one point I am so close to finishing the assembly that I am totally oblivious to what the boys are doing. It's quiet...too quiet. John!!! No, no John is ok...he is quietly tearing apart every book we own. OK, phew. James!!! Oh no, no...he is just sitting there playing with the allen wrench...which was in the bag with the screws and nuts...and he has chipmunk cheeks...and he is smiling. And one screw/nut combo falls out of his mouth!!!! Oh my god...somehow I managed to fly across the room all whilst having a massive coronary. This must be one of those mom adrenaline things, like when moms lift cars off of their kids and stuff...I literally (ok not literally) flew across the room. I opened James's mouth and did the finger swipe to get everything out. Holy mother of pearl. Of course James is now screaming because I took his toys away, but all screws/nut are again accounted for and boys were put in the kitchen where surely nothing could harm them. And, mom, mom was back to being super as soon as she got this thing assembled because man do the boys love this little trampoline.
Mama fail #2 - I'm going to start this one with a disclaimer that even though I swore I would never keep the worst mama fails from my readers, I almost did with this one. However, everyone was fine in the end, so I felt a little more comfortable writing this. It's a short but heart stopping one. It is morning and Jay and I are up watching the boys play, trying to wake ourselves up with a morning cup o joe, and also getting everything ready for the upcoming day. We've recently changed the boys diapers so of course that means James has to poop. Of course! Clean slate. So I am changing James and his giant poop while Jay is cleaning up in the kitchen and John is playing in the playroom next to James and I. John of course is all over the place and I have half an eye on him and half an eye on the poop monster. Next thing I know John is climbing up some shelves near me and within an instant has grabbed my cup of coffee which I thought was far enough above and away from him. He knocks it over onto himself, all over the carpet and toys below. He starts crying and I scream for Jay although he has seen it too. I am up to my elbows in poop so Jay runs over and sweeps up John and runs him to the kitchen sink. Cold water is applied and crying ceases. 5 minutes later John is back to acting like nothing happened, was probably just scared by the little bit of heat and us screaming. No marks, no burns and no harm done other than to my psyche.
The reason I share these two mom fails is because they are both things that I read about in all of the baby safety literature. At the time thinking, who in their right minds would be stupid enough to....well I guess now we know who. I try to keep my boys safe at every turn without being a helicopter mom. However the two most basic things: choking hazards and burns happened in one weekend. Luckily I take so much cream in my coffee it had cooled off quite a bit. It was mildly warm, but not hot...it could have been though, it could have been. And a lot of times what could have been is what scares moms most.
Mama win: After taking a break from pureeing food (since my boys refuse to eat anything from a spoon anymore - independent little stinks) and moving on to bite sized meals I am now back in the pureeing game. I have some days where I "mail it in" for meals and just want something fast and easy because the boys are breaking down or I am beyond exhausted. I have been relying on Plum Organics and Earths Best squeeze pouches which I feel only semi-guilty about. However, I still don't like that they use a lot of fruit in their combos and need preservatives to stay fresh. So after looking online for ways to make my life easier I find two products which I now love love love. They allow me to make food for the boys, puree what is left over and use it in some combo squeeze packs for emergencies or "mailing it in" days. The boys feel independent and I have free hands for another 5 minutes. In addition the toppers allow the boys to have a little more control with how fast food comes out of the pouches (see this post Orange goo) and provides a soft spout for their delicate gums. Here are the two wonder products: Squooshi Reusable pouches and Pouch Pop Topper. And one more bonus, a little less garbage from my laziness.
Mama win 2: I'm sure I could write some inane story about running 6 miles in this insane heat or having guests over for labor day (a thing we thought we would never again do after having twins), but the stories...they just happened and they were awesome events, but not much to tell. So I will take this time to try and redeem myself from my epic mama fails and ensure everyone that I am not a truly horrible mother...I just have my moments of real mediocrity...as I'm sure we all do.
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