Oh crap

As if Facebook has some sort of psychic power over me, my future was predicted by a link I "liked" a few days ago. Here it is in case you would like to reference it.

Mama Fail: #1 So I am going to a play date with some other moms and the host says she essentially has a mini water park in her back yard and that we should dress our tikes appropriately, e.g. swim diapers, swim trunks and rash guard, as well as a gallon of sunscreen. So being that I have never dressed the boys for a water adventure I leave myself ample time (45 minutes) to get both boys ready. Things I need to do in this time: Strip boys of regular clothes, change to swim diaper, slather in sunscreen, dress in swim trunks, and lastly put on rash guard...all of course x 2. 45 minutes should be enough time, right? Well it may have been except for one little snafu. I have finished going through this entire routine with James (including changing from poopy regular diaper to clean sparkly swim diaper) and am now working my way through this with John. I am on the changing regular diaper (which is also poopy, thanks boys!) to swim diaper step when I realize it smells bad, really bad. I know it's not John because I am half way through de-poopifying his tushy and this is a new smell. So I'm thinking, "Aw man, James pooped again...in that damned swim diaper, guh." Oh I should not have cursed this fate for what lie ahead was so much worse. As if in a slow motion scene, I turn my head to search out James and discover that he has figured out the (apparently not so) impenetrable diaper securing system that I use. He has undone the diaper, pulled out all of the wipes I used on him and is now playing in his own feces like a little monkey. Oh. my. god. Of course any usual mom would drop what she was doing and go to said poop covered child, but no, I am in a conundrum. I currently am wiping a poopy bottom and if I let go I risk John rolling over and crawling around with poop all over him. I have to decide which situation is worse. I go with current issue at hand and clean up John as I have never cleaned before. I let him go sans diaper...at this point a little pee on the carpet is the least of my worries. And dive for James...the whole time using all of my mom "force be with you" powers begging the universe to not let James put his poopy hands in his mouth or in his hair. Luckily I have a whole pack of wipes right next to me and I am on him in a second. He gets the perfunctory wipe down, all the while I am holding James under the armpits with one arm in the hopes that I will not drop him or have him touch anything along the way to the sink. I scrub the hell out of his hands which he is none to happy about and inspect him very closely for poop particles. I think we're safe...now back to John.

Mama fail: #2 (hahaha) Oh but wait there is more. Later that evening it is bath time. I believe the boys got dirtier than ever at their water play date which really should have counted for a bath for this lazy crazy mom. However, they are covered with grass, dead bug debris, and food from dinner. Bath time is a must. So I scoot them on upstairs (thank god they can do the stairs together now) and once ensconced in the bathroom I derobe them and de-diaper them. John first, good to go and in the bath seat in the tub. James is being de-diapered and I look in the mirror to find the dreaded poopy diaper staring back at me. Oh no, the diaper is still in between his legs maybe I can grab some wipes and clean...ohp, nope James starts to kick from excitement as I am holding him and gravity takes the diaper down...on to the counter where all of their bath towels and cloths are currently sitting. It falls face (?) down and splat on to the towels and all. Now I'm left to deal with holding the kicky poopy baby, the squirm worm in the bath as well as find new...well everything made of cloth for bath time. Sigh...into the garbage go the towels along with the diaper because I sure as heck am not scraping poop off of a towel on the off chance that it will be usable again. Nope and nope.

Mama win: This is a tough one as it has been one heck of a week for all of us. However, I am proud to say that we did make it to the water play date even after the poop monster episode...we made it there late, but we made it. In addition I was given a tip for getting those dang rash guards over a baby's head. I literally had the boys laying on the floor with my leg across their shoulders trying to cram their skull through the impossibly small hole on these things. What an "oh duh" moment I had when another mom tipped me off and said she cuts the neck on those things to make the hole bigger. Genius!!

Aw heck, there is one more win too. It will be the boys' first birthday in one week (what?!) and I somehow managed to design, order, receive and mail the invites on a somewhat decent schedule allowing people more than a weeks notice. I think that is pretty good. We could have just begged people to come the day before the party, but this way is a little bit nicer. Yahoooo.

I'll spare you a pic of the theme of this post and give you some cute ones instead.

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