Mamas and Papas

So today's post is a little bit different. It's a special post regarding the wins and fails of both myself and Jay. I'm sure Jay would love to participate in this, right honey....right. Better to ask forgiveness than permission :) hehehe.

Mama/Papa fail: The theme here is child injuries.
Papa fail - Yesterday morning we're getting the boys all ready for the day and Jay is getting in some last minute play time before he goes to work. He is holding John, who loves more than anything to be thrown in the air, or held up high, or "pretend dropped". Sure any of those things could lead to injury if not done carefully...but of course we're careful. Of course...all the time. Except this one time...when Jay held John high up in the air and then walked through a doorway and cracked John's head on it. Ooopf. Not a happy baby. You know that cry...the one where it's quiet and you're just waiting...is he gonna cry? And then it starts with a scream, and then the tears come...and the pout and trembling lip. Ugh...melts a parent's heart. Nothing like bashing your kids head on a doorway right before work. I think we're gonna have to buy stock in cold packs.

Mama fail - Long ago we were adjusting the mirror that allows us to peek in on the boys while we are driving. Unfortunately the thing is crap and it broke in half during our adjustments (I mean I know we're strong, but c'mon). So we immediately said...Oh we should get a new one and take that down. Fast forward to 2 months later and that darn thing was still there. Anyway, I took the boys on an adventure the other day to a different park. Fun was had, tra la la. And we're packing up to go. I load James in the car first and as I'm putting him in his car seat he lunges for the mirror (cause he sees his handsome self in it) and promptly face plants in to it. Which wouldn't have been a big deal except then he loses his footing and slides down the mirror with his face. He ends up cutting his cheek and the tip of his nose on this dang broken mirror. You know what...babies bleed, like a lot. Who knew? Luckily I had a frozen banana feeder in the car and popped it in his mouth...distraction won and the cut healed quickly. I'm sad to say...it still took me 4 more days to take that mirror down. Yay me!

Mama/Papa win:
Papa win - Jay is a great dad. He has a papa win almost everyday in that he really loves (and likes - key) his boys. He wants to be there with them and it's hard for him to leave everyday. He loves coming home to them and playing with them and doesn't mind a lot of the craziness that goes along with having twins. He is also a great husband and that is a papa win too. He came home yesterday after a long day of work and a long week of work. He came home to take over the end of the day baby duties, so I could go out and be with adults for the evening. He tended to James when the screaming started because I dared to leave the room. He is an awesome dad. For that he gets a continual win (even if his antics result in head injuries from time to time).

Mama win - summoning up the energy yesterday to leave my A/C house and go for a 3 mile "pushing the double BOB" run in the 80+ degree heat with sun ablaze. Mama win or mama insanity...I don't know. But I did it and ended the day not feeling guilty about my cheese and wine night with some other mamas. A lot of my wins are going to be running related because:
1. I am not now and never was or will be a happy runner. I don't get that runner's high, I don't look forward to it, and I usually feel miserable tired and hot afterwards. However I still do it, so every run is a major victory for me.
2. It's F'ing hard to push 50 extra pounds of baby and stroller while running up hill.
3. Some days that is the only major thing that I do right.

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What babies?

Mama Fail - Another Target story from the past, what can I say, I am a mom who needs to get out of the house. So I have another wonderful trip to Target and it is jam packed full of useless stuff I'm sure I didn't need. But, alas the stuff was there and multiple bags were filled to the brim. I pack up the car and we head home. My friend Lisa was with me helping me out with the boys that day. She too had a couple of bags worth of stuff. So we pull into the driveway and start unloading. We go through the front door, as our garage at this point has become a tetris maze of cardboard boxes, no longer used furniture, and enough emergency earthquake supplies for a family of 12. The unloading process is quite hilarious when we go in through the front door because my 2 cats and dog are all trying to escape (the oh so miserable pampered life they live) through the front door. So here we are arms full of Target bags and babies in their car seats. We put the boys down on the front porch so I can unlock the door. We decide to leave them there as it is a beautiful day out. They happily coo and gah as we run in and out of the front door to unload our goodies all the while herding cats and dogs.

We get the last bags in and shut the door, glad to finally have all the stuff in the house and all animals are still accounted for. I sigh and say, "phew...ok. Lets start unloading." Lisa looks at me as if I have 4 heads and says, "um, the boys." Oh (expletive), I forgot the boys on the front porch. Ok, it was only for like 30 seconds, but in my mind I had left them out for the wolves. They were perfectly oblivious, playing with their car seat toys and enjoying the breeze. Heheh...no no dears, you were not abandoned by mom. All is well.

Mama win - I have never forgotten them again :) Ok, that's lame (well awesome that it is true, but kind of a cop out for a win). Hmm, ok. I walked 2 miles today to go to the nearest Starbucks. It has been so long since I have been there and so desperately needed. The boys did great and I got a tea and lemonade thingy. This "ideal" moment I had been dreaming of for so long finally came true. I honestly didn't think a day would come where I could make this walk down to our nearest *bucks. I never thought we would get here...and yet I did it. It was a small victory, but in my mind it was a momentous occasion.

Mama rant - If you ever see someone with a double stroller (or really any stroller, but even more so a double one) struggling to get in the door of a *bucks or heck any door anywhere...get off your lazy tookus and help that mom/dad/nanny out. This is the second time I have experienced a business full of people that could all see me struggling to get in to the door with my stroller in tow. When did society become this rude? Thhhbbttt.

How could I have forgotten these cute little bugs?!

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Watch out Target shoppers

Historical Fail - not in the sense that it is so bad it will be written in the history books...just that it happened in the past...

Mama fail - So one day a few months ago I went to Target with my mom, she was here visiting from Chicago. It was one of my first trips out with the boys and of course my mind was all crazy because I felt like I was juggling 30 things at once. So the shopping was not momentous, but the fun started when we got back to the car. I unloaded the cart while my mom helped by getting James strapped in to his car seat. Then I popped John out of the cart and loaded him up too. Feeling pretty good about a successful trip, I started up the car and threw it in reverse.
With the rear door still open.
And the cart still behind the car.
I bumped the cart which sent it rolling in to the two way parking lot lane.
I threw the car in to park, and in an utter panic (why I panicked I don't know)...we hopped out of the car and closed the rear door and chased down the cart. Luckily it did not hit another car or get hit by another car.
I seriously thought I was doing ok and was acing this mom thing at that point because...heck...I got out of the house with twin infants and made it through Target without a melt down. I guess my brain had not caught up to my awesomeness yet. Thank god for moms (well, my mom.)

Mama win - Play date. I joined a local moms group to meet other moms, get some support, and make some friends. The group is great and I decided I needed to be more involved. I offered to start a baby play date group so that all the moms with younger kids could get together (as there are a few older kid groups already). I hosted the play date yesterday from 11 - 1:30. There were 5 moms and 9 kids, ages ranging from 3 months to 4.5 years. It was chaos and I felt like there was a daycare in my house, but it was amazing too. 6 of those kids were all within a month of each other and it was great to talk with other moms and have the kids interact. I was pooped and the boys were in melt down phase by the end, but it was fun to be social. I can't wait till the next one.

Uh-oh, they found me

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Replaceable Me?

It's actually been a little quiet in terms of mama fails which is good for me (ahem, I mean the kids), but bad for blog writing. I guess life isn't 100% entertaining all of the time. So sorry I've neglected you the past few days my loyal 7 followers :) Maybe it's 8 by now, I don't know, this thing is getting crazy popular. Ha!

Back story for fail - the boys are going through a serious mama phase. They hang on me, they look to me for reassurance, they hold out their arms for me when they get scared or hurt. I am the only one that can comfort them 90% of the time. I am the constant, the one who is always there for them. This can be good and bad. When they clamber up me and hang off my neck, pulling on my hair and kicking me in the stomach...it's not so good. But when they cling onto you with all of their might cause they bonked their head...man that feels good. Mama phase has been lasting long enough for me to just think of it as "how it is, how it will be." And here we go...

Mama fail: yesterday we hosted a b-day party for Nicky, the son of our friend Lisa. It was all of Lisa's family and friends. It was a great time and Jay and I loved being social again. Our hermit lifestyle is finally ebbing a bit. The boys handled it pretty well for much of the day, but by late afternoon they were dunzos. They were both melting down and needed an early bed time. We took them up to bed very soon after dinner was over and as soon as we got to their room James started crying...not just whining, but big crocodile tears, red faced, losing his breath/coughing crying. Just out of control. Nothing we did would make it better. Finally Jay just picked him up and took him out of the room. We had the white noise machine going already, so as soon as he left the room I couldn't hear the crying. I stayed with John we sang and read books. And I put him in his crib. At this time we were ready to finish the night routine, so I decided to go see how Jay and James were doing, maybe relieve Jay from carrying our big boy around. Ya know, see if "superhero" mom could control the situation. I step out of the room to silence. Jay had calmed him down and James was just looking around. Until he saw me...at which point I smile and said hi...and he promptly stuck out his bottom lip, opened his mouth and let out a wail again...tears falling, red face, and screaming. What happened to mom being the fixer of all things? The one these boys go to for comfort. Sigh....blow to the ego.

Mama win: hosting a 2 year old's birthday party and having our house in presentable condition while taking care of the boys, wrangling a dog and two cats, and general host responsibilities. I couldn't have done our part without Jay's help and so this win is a papa win too.

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Siren call of Costco

Mama fail:
So the last few times I have gone out with the boys in the afternoon, we have had early melt downs. Way before dinner time. Between waking up at 3:00, having a small bottle and then dinner at 5:00...a snack is an absolute must...I now know this. So yesterday Costco's siren call lead me to an afternoon adventure. Prep - snack crackers, water, and two toddler applesauce/carrot snack pouches (you know, the pouches that have the little nozzle on top so kids can suck on it). Ok, we're off. Costco is fairly uneventful, I stave off a few melt downs with crackers and water. However, 8 hours later (or however long it took us to get through Costco) we are in line and THE melt down ensues. A-ha, mama has the pouches...and here is where the fail begins. I give James his, it goes immediately in mouth. Perfect, wonderful, I am super mom. I go to unscrew the cap off of John's and James has taken his out of his mouth and is now just squeezing it into the air (like a geyser). I lay down John's to help James (ignoring the massive pool of carrot/apple goo that is collecting in James's lap). In the meantime John is angry that his is not in his mouth and starts beating his hands on the cart, well one misses and hits his pouch which shoots off orange carrot goo on to James as well. I finish helping James, go back to John and hand him his. John is good, focused on eating. James has now turned his upside down. Orange goo dribbling out. Gah! Ahh well, his lap is orange, his hands are orange, the blanket covering the cart is orange, there is probably orange goo on the cart and under the cart. I just keep laughing and telling James what a mess he is. I turn around to see some grumpy old woman giving me the sour face and I just want to stick my tongue out at her.

Mama Win:
I took the high road, did not stick my tongue out at grumpy old lady. Instead I see she has 1 item to my 400 and I politely ask her to please go ahead of me since she has such a small order. I gotta keep thinking "these boys are watching, learning, observing at all times." But...they cannot mind read and mentally I am sticking my tongue out at the back of her head. Thbbbttttt.

I did not get a picture of yesterday's incident as then my phone would have been covered in orange goo too, but here is an approximation. Just imagine the boys fully clothed, in a cart seat and covered in orange instead of blue.

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Bath time troubles

Mama fail: 

Figuring out how to bathe 2 boys in the bath tub by myself for the first time. Thought I had all safety boxes checked, then after bringing James up, leaving him on the floor of closed bathroom, and running downstairs to get John, I realized "oh (expletive) I just left my crawling baby in a room with a bath tub of water. I have never moved so fast in my life. How is it that I could have missed THAT in my safety check?

2nd mama fail: 

Oh yea, 2 for the price of one... Stellar day. I forgot to post on fb that the boys turned 11 months today. Everyone knows that if it isn't on fb it doesn't happen. Poor boys.

Mama win: 

Coming home from a moms group with 6 melissa and doug wooden puzzles for $20. What a deal.

This is an old bath time pic, we've removed them from the basket these days, but you get the idea...

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Lets get started

Below are the Facebook posts that started this endeavor.

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In an effort to cut down on the "everything in my life is perfect version" that we all share on FB (cause who really wants to air their dirty laundry), I am going to start sharing my motherhood fails. I want to keep it real and show that life is full of ups and downs. I'll also include a motherhood win...just so people don't call DCFS on me. Hehehe
So my motherhood fail for yesterday was thinking that at 10.5 months my boys could handle little bits of tortilla (as part of an avocado and bean burrito), as James gagged on a mouthful stuck to the roof of his mouth. Ah well, dinner fail.
Mama win - preparing for all possible events before going to the park yesterday and having a blast with the boys and my friend Lisa's little boy, Nicky. An awesome afternoon at the park. The boys loved people(kid) watching.


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Mama fail - forgetting for the 52nd time to wash the boys hands before finger food breakfast. Why can I not remember that? It certainly is not because my floors are so clean their hands don't need to be washed

Mama win - making it out to my first (in 10+ months) moms night out type event last night. Good wine tasting, flat breads and conversation. Sometimes my "mama win" has to be a little selfish


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Mama fail: wanted to get out of the house with the boys yesterday for the afternoon. Thought ikea would be fun. Got there and the carts only seat one. I can't even squeeze two in because the seat had gaping holes on each side. Gah! Did I bring the stroller... No, I did not prepare. Cursed loudly in the ikea parking lot. So all of that loading and unloading of babies to just drive around for 20 minutes. Got home and we went on a wagon walk instead.

Mama win: made it out of the house (on time!) and to my doctors appt. Phew. Small win, but I'll take it.


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There is no rest for mama fails on the weekend:
Mama fail: So I assumed my babies couldn't/wouldn't (first part of the fail right there, never assume) get through/over/under our baby gate from playroom to front room as neither of them have ever done it. However, today as I ran upstairs to put my contacts in...I came back downstairs to find James (no, not John) in the front room. So either he has the ability to climb over the gate (hmm), crawl under the gate (possible), or shape shift and walk through the gate. My money is on under. In addition, as we haven't really baby proofed that room all that much, he was sitting there quietly chewing/licking a dog toy. Sigh. Just keep thinking Immunity, immunity, immunity.
Mama win: managed to go on a two mile walk up and down many hills, pushing double stroller, while feeding boys banana pops, taking sips of water, and talking with mom and dad all at the same time. Now that is multi-tasking.



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Well so far this has been a pretty good day. I have postponed the mama fail post in the event that I cursed myself by saying that it was a great day and then all hell broke loose. So I am going to dig into my mama fails vault and pull out a historical one (it's historical cause I actually learned my lesson on this one!!!)
Mama fail: Leaving the computer plugged in with the charger cord which goes to an outlet near the floor. Went to get boys. Got John first. Put him down in playroom, then went to get James. Came down with James and found john sucking on cord for charger. Nearly dropped James in my panic...so maybe this is two mama fails. Every one was fine and mama slowly learned her lesson on this one.
Mama win...6 mile run with all of my boys today (confession...Jay pushed the stroller, I just lazily ran beside him). Also, an awesome day with the boys. Picnic in the baseball fields behind my house...Bear running free and boys on a blanket trying to eat grass...good times.


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Mama fail: There are so many today that I think this is payback for yesterday. Where to start?1. I thought I was superwoman and my children were angels.2. Packed the kids into the car after a somewhat short nap and was off to do errands. This is already the second time in their car seats today (which they do not love).3. Drove 15 minutes in one direction to pick up some donated toys. Boys did not get to get out of the car.4. Drove the opposite direction 15 minutes to go to pet store. Boys get to get out this time. James in the carrier, John in the cart seat. Bend over to pick up 30 lbs of dog food (why?) lift up quickly and whack James in the face with it. Sigh.5. After 10 minutes in this store it is now almost 4:00, I have to go to the grocery store and get gas.6. Head to the grocery store (after packing the boys in their car seats again). Boys getting fussy about being in car seats.7. Now 4:15, at grocery store and gas station across street (dinner is usually at 5). Skip gas station.8. Boys out of car...at Ralph's they are awesome and have double carts. Go to get one and see one of those "car in front" carts. Boys are getting fussier, so I have a brilliant idea. Boys will have awesome fun time in car part and they can both be buckled in there. Perfect!9. Boys immediately start licking, chewing and touching everything before I can get to the clorox dispenser. Gah!10. Glee ensues. Boys are sooo happy...for 5 minutes. I make it through produce area. The screaming starts. Oh my, they must be hungry. Good thing I brought snacks...somehow I did not realize that a few yogurt poof thingies every 5 minutes would not cut it for these two. Plus I am continually touching the cart, the store, stuff, then feeding them poofs. Gah!11. I am running through Ralphs trying to get all much needed groceries, women are giving me the pity look, but also the "what are you, an idiot" look.
12. Those carts may work for toddlers who at least have some concept of "no", however 11 moth old boys have no concept and just continue to lick, chew, reach out, pull, and touch everything we pass.13. At one point John gets a hold of some stationary object and stops the cart at the same time James starts screaming. There are too many people in the deli line...I shout, "Gah, this is chaos", leave with pre-packaged turkey.14. Get to check out lane and all hell breaks loose...boys are reaching out to grab everything...old mango - check, gift cards from hanger - check, pile of reusable bags from next checkout lane - check, candy - check. Finally move forward enough and get to the bagging area where a little alarm goes off because I have forgotten things on bottom of my cart. Ugh.15. Get out to car...boys are soooo done. I don't want to leave either of them unattended for long in this car contraption, so I garb James and place him in car seat. I go and grab John and bring him in to car....James is climbing over back seat and out of his car seat. Place John in car seat. Run over to James, get him clipped in, John is climbing over back of car seat. Run over clip him in...both boys screaming now. Only 5 minutes to home. Forget medication and gas.16. Boys screaming from hunger. Place in high chairs to realize I didn't clean off trays from lunch. Ugh. Place burp cloths over trays. Shove pouch of apple sauce into each of their hands and breathe. Oh my.
Mama win...I made it through all of the above with out crying.


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Evidence of yesterday's debacle. How cute are they? How could I NOT put them in this contraption from hell?






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Mama fail: lunch. Can I just leave it at that? No no no. Made this beautiful lunch for the boys...organic carrots diced and steamed, raspberries cut into bite sized pieces, all natural french toast sticks all warm straight from the toaster. Sounds pretty dang good to me. Boys wouldn't eat it. Put it on their tongue and spit it out. Or stuck their tongue out till the drool made whatever item was being disliked slide off of tongue. Sigh...what they ended up eating. Half an avocado, cheerios, and pre shredded cheese.

Mama win: I got to eat their tasty lunch

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